so i was reading through some of the pages in my blog and i realized the past year or so i’ve posted nothing but sad, miserable posts.  every single one seems to say either “im tired” or “im sick”… well, i have been tired and sick, but there have been a lot of good days in between.  i guess on those days i’m just too busy to post.  really, i guess i use my blog as a way to clear my head and purge the thoughts i cant stop thinking about.  of course, these are typically negative things that i need to purge.  i guess thats why so many of my posts are either rants or depressive mumblings.

things HAVE been good.   my eye sight is slowly getting better.  i have good days and i have bad days, but there have been a lot more good days.  my terrible headaches have completely gone away!  i still get a lot of frequent little ones; at least once a day i have a mild a headache, but thats better than the doubled-over in pain and crying headaches.  secretly, i havent been taking my pills (i admitted to jim last night that i kinda lost them ), so i’m really surprised that i’m slowly getting better and remaining at a decent place without taking them.

i just finished up my first 8wk courses for the fall semester at NAU.  i’m hoping i get out of it with my 4.0  in tact, but i’m not so sure. :(  i forgot an assignment for each class, so i’m not sure if that will drag me into the B-range.  my second 8wk classes are starting up soon.  thursday i have my first, and then next week my other two start up.   i’m a little anxious and worried.  to make up for being sick and dropping out of classes last fall,  i’ll have a monday night class with a different cohort. then i’ll have tuesday and thursday night classes with my cohort.  so it will be busy weeks for me.

on top of all that, i’m doing my practicum.  i’m working on nearby reservation with a 2nd grade class.  i absolutely LOVE them. the kids are excellent. the teacher was actually a teacher i had last fall with NAU. (she works as a 2nd grade teacher for the res and an NAU professor).  her’s was one of the classes i had to drop out of, but i did have one-to-two classes with her and she left a big impression on me.  i knew that i really wanted to see her work in a classroom and to learn more from her that i missed.  i have been having a wonderful time with her.  she’s been teaching me more of the clerical side of teaching.  i’ve been doing loads of grading, copying, filing, sorting, attendance, making sure the classroom is up to code for the clipboard kings and queens.  everyday, i’m so busy that i dont even have time to write in my journal that i’m suppose to keep. i’ve gotten really attached to the kids, and them to me, really quickly.  they have this week off for fall break and, on friday, they were coming up to me and hugging me and telling me they were going to miss me! awww!

i did have a bit of a bad day on friday through; i had trouble at the copy machine x2, got a bit emotional along with a bullied kid, and found out at the end of the day that there was some old pervert driving around and trying to pick up kids.  so at the end of the day, my nerves were shot.   i’m still worried about my kids and that that guy might be out there trying to pick them up… *sighs*… but i’m doing better.

i have my student teaching set up for the spring. i got contacted by HR in the district i will be doing it in. they needed my address so that they could send me some paperwork; apparently a checklist and whats expected of me.  when i get it, i’m suppose to read through it and give them a call to set up a meeting with one of their HR people; an informal meet-and-greet and say whats expected of me and my work there.  i’m a little nervous, naturally, but im sure it will be fine.

i did really good this spring/summer and lost like 30lbs.. then i did pretty bad this summer/fall and gained 20 back. ugh!  so i’m trying to go back on my diet.  jim, on the other hand *rme*,  has lost like 60lbs and kept it all off.  he’s doing fan-fucking-tastic.  i love going to the gym, but ive been so busy i havent had a chance to.  i’m hoping once i start my student teaching, have a set and normal schedule, i could start going before or after class.  but i’m going back on my eating-better-diet.  so fingers crossed i can loose some more and keep it off. but the upside is that i have this really good diet pills that give me tons of energy.  which is good because i really have to clean this friggen house…

because we’re having a bit of a party on friday.  its my father’s birthday and he’s invited over the aunts, uncles, and cousins.  it should be fun, but i got loads of cleaning and straightening up around the house to do.

in other news, i’ve come to realize (and i’m actually so hesitant to say this) that i have two friends.  from my cohort i’ve met two really nice people who i just seem to click with.  im stymied with the belief  that i dont do friends.  i dont know how to…  yet, some how, i manage to find myself with two semi-close friends.  not the associate type, but people who i talk to outside of class, tell perverted jokes to, and can  just open up to.  part of me kinda feels that after december, i wont see them again.  part of me is still kind of holding back and keeping closed… but another part of me so badly wants to say “hey, you wanna go out and do something?”  i guess only time will tell.  for now, its just nice to have someone to talk to.